yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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