How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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