Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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