Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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