but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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