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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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