Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
