So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
