so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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