the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
