I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
