foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
