She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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