I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
