Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i drank out of a bidet.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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