it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
