You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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