The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
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Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...