Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

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  (403): let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length. http://tfl.nu/s8ds
  Replies (41) Good night (647) Bad night (6930)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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  (504): I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed! http://tfl.nu/xwtw
  Replies (26) Good night (3644) Bad night (1133)
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  (310): View more from California

  you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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  (310): you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/ad2i
  Replies (21) Good night (4889) Bad night (1184)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

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  (305): We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had. http://tfl.nu/tauu
  Replies (26) Good night (5650) Bad night (899)
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  (510): View more from California

  Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.

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  (510): Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her. http://tfl.nu/i4zz
  Replies (9) Good night (2225) Bad night (667)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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  (732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl
  Replies (27) Good night (2119) Bad night (2183)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.

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  (612): And the cockring thing wasn't sexual. http://tfl.nu/ceb9
  Replies (19) Good night (325) Bad night (667)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

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  (512): He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear http://tfl.nu/jwyg
  Replies (6) Good night (1497) Bad night (416)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

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  (815): yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are (815): Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa http://tfl.nu/l4r8
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (267)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.

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  (732): The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack. http://tfl.nu/qgyn
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (213)
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  (527): View more from

  I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.

  (1-527): View more from

  Top night. Top night.

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  (527): I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered. (1-527): Top night. Top night. http://tfl.nu/68t6
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (527)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life

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  (519): Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life http://tfl.nu/r9i3
  Replies (7) Good night (194) Bad night (435)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.

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  (612): I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid. http://tfl.nu/jof2
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (187)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.

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  (214): I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory. http://tfl.nu/tp70
  Replies (0) Good night (570) Bad night (195)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?

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  (848): How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window? http://tfl.nu/f8ev
  Replies (1) Good night (156) Bad night (372)

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