that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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