Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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(415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a

Replies (8) Good night (2050) Bad night (1004)
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(281): View more from Texas

I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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(281): I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow? http://tfl.nu/ft8k

Replies (62) Good night (1377) Bad night (2951)
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(210): View more from Texas

I just want to hang out with her.

(916): View more from California

You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

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(210): I just want to hang out with her. (916): You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you. http://tfl.nu/9qvp

Replies (24) Good night (1944) Bad night (3910)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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(615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c

Replies (14) Good night (1098) Bad night (3175)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?

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(765): Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis? http://tfl.nu/def9

Replies (21) Good night (1226) Bad night (3166)
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(863): View more from Florida

i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

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(863): i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him http://tfl.nu/mt9f

Replies (24) Good night (1454) Bad night (3272)
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(585): View more from New York

My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.

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(585): My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home. http://tfl.nu/zb6p

Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (3983)
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(613): View more from Ontario

There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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(613): There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order. http://tfl.nu/vb6g

Replies (23) Good night (5182) Bad night (1041)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

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(513): I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered. http://tfl.nu/5t2g

Replies (15) Good night (4116) Bad night (1097)
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(616): View more from Michigan

you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality

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(616): you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality http://tfl.nu/e7iy

Replies (3) Good night (2467) Bad night (1174)
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(419): View more from Ohio

It was like getting head from an anaconda

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(419): It was like getting head from an anaconda http://tfl.nu/fnhr

Replies (23) Good night (3174) Bad night (2296)
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(509): View more from Washington

I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.

(509): View more from Washington

Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.

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(509): I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream. (509): Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility. http://tfl.nu/ehsj

Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (579)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.

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(+44): Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me. http://tfl.nu/0a0k

Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (318)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?

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(609): Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails. (1-609): you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you? http://tfl.nu/fkr4

Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (395)
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(830): View more from Texas

I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.

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(830): I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing. http://tfl.nu/y3a4

Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (176)

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