Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya, gonna go have sex there?

  (631): View more from New York

  No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home

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  (631): U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track? (248): ya, gonna go have sex there? (631): No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home http://tfl.nu/4bvt
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (1576)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."

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  (586): I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope." http://tfl.nu/2m2o
  Replies (36) Good night (844) Bad night (3775)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

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  (604): We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it. http://tfl.nu/rgwr
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (794)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.

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  (651): I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening. http://tfl.nu/p9mo
  Replies (7) Good night (3870) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...

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  (203): he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first... http://tfl.nu/kho5
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

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  (773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw
  Replies (3) Good night (1129) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

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  (303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? http://tfl.nu/o7ne
  Replies (10) Good night (1700) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game

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  (973): Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits? (518): I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game http://tfl.nu/j3xf
  Replies (7) Good night (1859) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.

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  (518): Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird. http://tfl.nu/4vio
  Replies (1) Good night (1308) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (1120) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?

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  (604): you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping? http://tfl.nu/kskl
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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  (860): Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character. http://tfl.nu/v0k6
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.

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  (916): Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand. http://tfl.nu/j2wp
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.

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  (919): Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes. http://tfl.nu/z2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (655) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.

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  (443): The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs. http://tfl.nu/73ow
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (320)

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