Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?

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(240): View more from Maryland

I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out

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(289): View more from Ontario

Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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(563): View more from Iowa

The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.

(1-563): View more from Iowa

I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.

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(330): View more from Ohio

FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny

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