Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already