I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
