saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this just has baby written all over it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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