it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
