i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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