I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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