problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
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