I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
