oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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