i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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