O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
