You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
