Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
