WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
