I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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