just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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