If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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