She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
