The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
