Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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