So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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