I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I want a musical about memes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize