I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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