He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
