I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
