I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
