Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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