Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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