I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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