It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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