I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize