That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize