Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize