Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just high enough for therapy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
