when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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