Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
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My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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