Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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