no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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