I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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