sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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