laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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