I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
