So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
