please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
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I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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