I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
