It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
