Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
