4 words: hood of his car
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
