You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
